Samuel is in a better place

Its been 1 month since Samuel found his freedom. Today, i am putting down the jumbled and messy thoughts that are in my mind. Found some inspiration to put down whats in my mind. Probably do it in point form.

- Samuel is indeed in a better place. His suffering is over. He has found his freedom in his death. To live is Christ, and to die is gain. No more suctioning, no more gastro tube feeding, no longer stuck to the 15kg ventilator when moving around, no longer dependant on batteries to breathe, no more negative thoughts when he knows that he is different from other kids.

- New season beckons. No more worrying when he will start eating, no more pain for me when he is suffering in pain, dont need to hurry home when going out, no more excuses not to serve people; when others are having fun, i now can also have fun; no more excuses to do better in my job, no more excuses for not doing what i really want to do; cannot rely on Samuel to motivate Esther & Grace to succeed in life.

- God is faithful. I can now say that he did not test me beyond what i am able to bear.

- What muscles have i developed? Remains to be seen.